What Hurts the Most
by RimaBalaBalance
Summary: Songfic. Yaya reflects on the relationship she had with Kairi before he dumped her.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Shugo Chara belongs to Peach-Pit and this song belongs to Rascal Flatts.**

_((I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

_Even though going on with you gone still upsets me))_

It was raining.

When I woke up this morning and it was raining, I knew something bad was going to happen. But I didn't think it would be like this. I never thought you would do something like this Kairi. Never.

I let the tears run down my face and when I hear my phone ring, I ignore it.

Can't you see, Kairi? I can't live without you. I just can't.

_((There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok_

_But that's not what gets me))_

I still remember our first date, Kairi. Besides when we won the flower contest, I mean. That didn't count. But don't you remember? We went to Utau's concert and you kissed me. I still remember the look on your face, the blush, when you said you could never love another person as much as you love me.

_((What hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away))_

This wouldn't actually be that bad if you hadn't dumped me for _her_. Of course, with her bubblegum hair and golden eyes, I don't stand a chance. I could never be as pretty.

But Kairi, did you have to do it this way? You didn't even break up with me before groping her in the hall and making out with her between classes. I didn't want to believe it. I still can't believe it. But it's true. There's no way to avoid it when you say, "Sorry, Yaya, we have to break up," her still clinging to you like a lifeline.

You were supposed to be my lifeline Kairi. Not Amu's.

_((And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was tryin' to do))_

I know it's childish, but I used to fantasize about our wedding- my dress, the cake, the people we'd invite, everything. It was a beautiful fantasy, but now it's gone, sure to come and haunt my nightmares.

_((It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doin' It_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone))_

I guess the part that's hardest to believe is that everyone chose you over me, Kairi. Rima took your side because of Amu and Nagihiko could never side against Rima. Tadase is your best friend, so he's obviously on your side. Kuukai wasn't around for any of it, so I don't know how he's going to react, while I'm sure Hikaru and Rikka prefer you over me because you're more _trustworthy._ How ironic.

The phone rings again, but I still ignore it.

_((Still Harder_

_Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken))_

I'm sure tomorrow all I'm going to hide in bed all day. The day after I'm sure I'll be calling you nonstop trying to get an explanation. What are people with broken hearts supposed to do, anyways? Maybe I'll ask Kuukai. Didn't Utau dump him?

Kairi, why do I still love you?

_((What hurts the most_

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away))_

I don't think I'll be able to face you at school. I'll always be seeing you with the person who could have been me, but I'll never be good enough.

I'll always just be a runner-up.

_((And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do))_

Did I not love you enough? Did I love you too much? Was I a bad girlfriend? I guess I'll never know.

_((What hurts the most_

_Is being so close))_

We could have been so much…

_((And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away))_

…but we weren't…

_((And never knowing_

_What could have been))_

…we never will be now…

_((And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do))_

…I need to move on.

_((Not seeing that loving you_

_That's what I was trying to do))_

I smile weakly through the tears. Realizing this heals my heart a little. Suddenly, my phone rings again. Without thinking I answer. "Hello?"

_((Ooohhh...))_

"Hey, Yaya. I heard what Kairi did. What a jerk! Hey, want to go get some ice cream? We can talk in person."

I smile. A real smile. "Sure, Kuukai. I'll meet you in five minutes…"

_Could this be the start of love?_

**Okay, I know the Kukaya at the end was a little random, but I can't end a story about Yaya in a depressing way. I'm going to write a **_**real**_** Kukaya fic soon, but I've had this idea for so long I just had to write it. I know, Kairi's waay OOC in this whole thing, so sorry!**

**Please review! :)**

**Ps- there's a poll on my profile asking which SC couple I should write a oneshot about next. Please vote on it!**


End file.
